Quote of the Day

We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.

- Frank Tibolt

Happy Birthday Babies!!!

Over the weekend my twins turned three!  Saturday morning I looked back in my blog to what I wrote over the past year and realized how very much they have grown and matured.  This time last year, I was so very concerned that my babies would never talk, now I don’t think they’ll ever shut up! LOL!  Over the past month the twins went through the screening to see if they required anymore speech therapy through the public school districts special needs pre-school.  On Saturday they’ll give me the formal diagnosis, but I have a pretty good idea what will be determined.  I know that Payton is right where he should be for his age.  It worries me that he is such a “follower”.  They told me that he didn’t even attempt to solve any word problems at all!  I think it’s because he usually just waits for Lilli to take the lead and does whatever she tells him to.  He’s developed some really good communication skills but he still has some age appropriate enunciation issues.  I really don’t think he’ll qualify for services since he seems to be average (possibly low average)  What he lacks in speech, he makes up for in personality and physical abilities.  Payton is usually the first kid up in the morning so before Daddy leaves for work, he usually leaves Sprout on the TV for him to watch when he gets up.  One morning Daddy forgot to do that and instead left Sports Center on.  I walked into the room to see Payton watching football highlights and grabbed the remote to change it to something I thought he’d like to watch.  Boy, was that a mistake!  Payton started flipping out saying “Change it back!  I watching football!!!”  So, I honored his request, changed it back, and there he sat for the next 20 min watching sports.  I love that he has this passion for sports!  He really loves it and always has!

Lilli, on the other hand, is probably just about a genius!!!  And I’m not just saying that because I’m her mom.  She had her final testing for speech and language this week and when it was finally over, the SLP came out and apologized for it taking so long.  She told me that they are required to continue until the child got at least five in a row wrong.  Lilli just kept getting all the word problems correct… right up to the five year old age range!  The SLP told me that she kept asking Lilli how old she was and could not believe she was only “2″!  I told her that she would be three that weekend, but that still put her two years advanced!  Anytime I’m working with Dono on his letters or numbers, she’s always right there wanting to learn them too!  I hope that her passion for learning stays with her throughout her whole life!

Other happenings in their life is that they have started preschool and totally LOVE it!  At first we put them in three days a week to see how they would do.  The were so excited about going to school that on the days they didn’t go, they were really sad.  I work out of our home office, so once we realized how wonderfully they were doing at school, it just made sense to let them go five days a week so I can dedicate more hours to work during the high season.  Depending on how things go, we will probably cut them back to three days a week this winter when work is slower, although I’d really hate to do that.  Lilli is such a bright little girl that she is really learning a lot and I’ve really seen Payton blossom since he started!  I think it’s good that they are able to have separate activities and develop their separate interests.  Last week Lilli stayed home from school one day because she was sick.  She was so bored here at home and kept asking me if she could go to school.  I gave her some paper and markers and before long she came running in to me to show me the “A” she had written.  I looked, fully expecting to just see scribbles, and instead found that my baby girl had really written the letter “A” and had properly identified it!  I was SHOCKED!!!!  and oh, so proud!!!  She asked several times throughout the day where “Paytee” was.  She really missed him when he was gone.  When Daddy picked Payton up from school he was told that Payton had a miserable day without his “Sissy” there.  He wanted to be held a lot and kept asking where she was.  I love this connection they have, but at the same time, I want them to be able to function independently.  It’s for that reason that I think I”ve just about decided that I will have them in separate classes when they start regular school… but I still have a couple years to make a final decision on that!

I don’t have any pictures of their birthday because we really wanted to keep the day low key.  We’re not throwing their party until the 23rd and, as you know, it’s not really a birthday until you have a party!  The whole family just worked around the house, then we put together the twins brand new beds!  Yes, that’s right!  My little babies have graduated out of toddler beds and have moved on to twin sized beds!  Most of the afternoon Saturday was spent cleaning and re-arranging the bedrom, disassembling the toddler beds, building the twin beds,  and getting their new room all ready to go!  The next step is paint, but since I haven’t decided what color will look good with Superman AND Princess decor, I’m at a loss… any ideas?  We wrapped up the day with a trip to the ice cream shop where Princess Lilli got “pink” ice cream (her favorite!) and Payton the superstar got chocolate (his favorite!).  What a perfectly wonderful way to spend a weekend!

Lost and Found

When I first started this blog I’d sit down and whip out a post a day with next to no effort at all. Maybe my writings reflect that? *teehee*
Anyway, lately, like over the last few months, I’ve found it’s become more and more difficult to work up any creative juices at all! I’ve had a lot… let me say that again… A FREAKIN LOT of stress going on and actually, I would have loved to be able to just sit and write! It’s so refreshing to be able to work through issues in my life as I write about them. Sometimes it helps me see things from a different angle, sometimes it just gives me a place to release some of the pent up emotions I have. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason behind my writings and I’m just writing to feel alive!!!

But, the words have not come so easy as of late. It’s been like almost sneezing. You know that feeling. You can feel the tickle, then your start to catch your breath, your eyes begin to water, and… AND… AND!!!! Nothing. It’s gone and you’re left feeling unfulfilled and frustrated. Or, at least that’s how it is for me. And that’s exactly the description I have for not being able to write much.

When I wrote that poem last week it was such an awesome feeling! I was inspired with the first line the night before, then that morning I got home after seeing everyone off to school and banged that out in five minutes flat! It was absolutely surreal and totally amazing to feel the juices flowing again. It just felt… natural.
But, alas… all good things must come to an end and any semblance of creativity that I may have have possessed is one again MIA. I miss it. If it ever comes back I plan to collect it up in my arms, hold it tight, and never let it go again!

Writing for me has been what’s gotten me though some really dark periods in my life. It’s also been where I’ve gone when I’ve had wonderful things happen in my life that I didn’t want to forget! I’ve even started writing a couple of different novels, but they quickly fell to the wayside while the needs of my family took precedence. I’ve found a huge release in being able to just sit and write on this blog and not have to worry about the kids ripping pages out and/or coloring all over my writings. I now that I haven’t written much depth over the past year, but I’ve thought about it a lot.

Up until last year, all my writings I’ve kept private, not sharing them with anyone. Since writing to me is so personal, I always hesitate sharing what I’ve written because I don’t want to get hurt by criticism. Maybe that’s why I’m having trouble writing now? How do I know that I can trust you with my deepest thoughts and feelings? How do I know that you deserve my writings? How do I know that you won’t take my words out of context to chastise me with later?

I guess the answer is, I don’t know. I don’t know how you’re going to react to what I write. How can I? I’m not a mind reader! Maybe you’ll love it and comment? Maybe you’ll love it and say nothing? Maybe you’ll only come to lurk to see what’s new in my life? Maybe you secretly would like to see a chink in my protective armour so you check in daily for a reason to feel better about your own life? I just don’t know.

What I do know is, I love to write. I miss it. I wish my creativity didn’t just quit with no notice or provocation. *sigh* So, if you see a lonely bit of creativity out wandering around the city all by itself, please send it home. I’m ready to nurture it again and I hope it’s ready to feed me.

~THE PLACE~

There is a dark place

Deep inside,

I know I must go there,

I know I can’t hide.

 

From the anguish

And from the pain

From the demons

That drive me insane.

 

I’m afraid what I’ll find

Deep within

Maybe it’s an illness,

Or maybe it’s sin.

 

There is a dark place

Deep inside,

I know I must go there,

I know I can’t hide.

 

Victorious I know

I really will be.

Greater is the One

Who lives within me.

 

It’s the place I’m afraid of

Not the battle for sure

Within the dark place

I know is my cure.

 

So go I must

To this dark place I fear

While there my prayers

I hope God will hear

 

He is the only one

That can save me now

I am powerless and weak

But I’ve made this vow

 

To go to the place

Where I fear what will be found

To find this thing

That’s weighing me down

 

There is a dark place

Deep inside

I know I must go there

I know I can’t hide.

The next American Idol!

The next American Idol

Evan loves to watch Sesame Street while singing into the microphone!  He was really getting into it the other day when I shot this video.  Click on the above link to watch my baby boy in action!

Oh the pressure!!!!

This weekend my oldest son was invited to a girl’s birthday party. He was one of only a few boys that were invited to the luau.

As you can imagine, I was stricken with anxiety! Not because my son was going to spend five hours in the pool with a bunch of girls, but that the gift that I was supposed to buy may end up getting my son kicked out of the “cool” crowd. It was almost more than I could handle! I remembered the terror of not fitting in the “right” crowd in Jr High (and truth be told, the kids that were tormented by some of the so-called “cool kids”)

I have no clue at all what a young teen-aged girl now a days wants. Gosh! Even saying that makes me feel ancient! I wandered up and down the aisles picking things up, putting them back down. What to get, what to get….

OH! I could get nailpolish! YES! Perfect! What girl doesn’t like nail polish?

But, as luck would have it, the store we were at didn’t have those little nail polish kits and I didn’t have time to run to another store. What they did have was the cute little bath kits. That would work too… except for, what kind of message would that send? A BOY giving the gift of bath to a GIRL? NO no no… that won’t work at all.

Maybe a book? I love to read! No… that won’t work either! What if her parents don’t appreciate my taste in pre-teen books. Or what if that gift pegs my son as “that weird kid that gave *Kelly a BOOK”

ARGH!

Desperately I searched high and low for the perfect gift that wouldn’t convey too much (here, take this gift as a token of my intent to eventually marry you) or too little (here take this gift, ignore the fact that I’m a nerd, I”m just here for the 6ft sub)

Finally! There was a light at the end of my tunnel of desperation. Half way down the home decor aisle I saw something brightly colored! Something fluffy! Something soft!!! TOSS PILLOWS! WOOT! That would be perfect! Neutral enough to not make the girl think that my son has a huge crush on her. Thoughtful enough that the girl would appreciate his gift and use it often!

I would have never guessed that one of the biggest stresses of my teenage parenting days would be gift giving! Don’t you worry though! Next time I’m going to be totally prepared! Never again will I be caught without a clue!

Oh wait… I’m a parent of a teen. It’s a sure thing that I don’t have a clue! At least, according to him…

*name changed to protect the innocent

Gone, but not forgotton

It has been such a busy summer in the Know household! It seems like everytime I sat down to blog, either I drew a blank, or I was called away to do something else more pressing… like planning a camping trip, or booking flights, or playing monopoly. Yes, it has been a busy summer!

Let’s see… where did I leave off last? Oh yes! The Fourth of July! How was yours? We had a really good, small town fourth complete with a backyard bbq, watermelon, homemade ice cream, and front row seats to a really great firework show. There are so many wonderful things I love about summer and I’m so happy that we got to share in some of our family’s summer traditions with my step-son!

We also have a new family member! Meet “Snickers”:

Shortly after getting Snickers, I walked into my room to find my little girl sitting on my bed with the cat on her lap. She was combing Snickers fur with a tiny doll brush and it warmed my heart. She carries Snickers around all over the place, singing and loving on her, even wrapping her in a blanket and carrying her around like a baby. Everytime I think about that, it makes me smile and brings back rich memories from my childhood. I had two cats when I was a child that I shared a deep bond with, Pepper (also a calico) and Cleo. I am so happy that my little girl has a furry friend to nurture just like her mamma did!

Here is Lilli combing Snicker’s hair:

July also brought summer football camp to our small town. The four older boys learned about the different positions and strategies for playing the game. For the last hour of the clinic, they played a scrimmage game. Since MrKnow took the camera that day, there are very few pictures where you can actually see the kids (he doesn’t know how to work the zoom LOL!) In this picture, you can see two of our boys while they are getting instruction:

In other news… I cut my hair. I’ve gone through this phase over the past couple years where I wanted to grow my hair out long. All of my adult life, I’ve had short kicky haircuts, but for some reason, after the twins were born, I didn’t have time for the maintenance and upkeep shorter hair takes. So, it grew. And grew and grew and grew! But I hated my hair long. I couldn’t do a thing with it, especially since it has changed texture in the last year, so most of the time I just put it up in a ponytail. I hate that. I feel so much better if my hair is fixed, but I had no time or energy to try to come up with anything cute you can do with long hair! I’m just a short hair person I guess. At any rate, here are my before and after shots:

BEFORE:

AFTER:

What a drastic change! I had TEN inches cut off! Before I went to the salon, I looked at the “Locks of Love” site because I was thinking about donating my hair. Unfortunately they require 12 inches, so I was unable to donate.

We also managed to squeeze in a camping trip this summer! This was our very first time camping all together. Growing up, we used to camp every summer, but I have not planned a trip as an adult. As you can imagine, I was quite nervous! We, er I should say *I* planned a three day weekend trip for us up in the mountains about two hours away from our home. I spent days on end researching campgrounds all over the state, before I found one that I thought would be perfect! It was right beside a lovely little lake with plenty of trees for shade… or so I thought. Since MrKnow had to work on, I left out early in the day (with a few of the kids, the others stayed behind to ride up with good ole’ dad) to get camp set up before dark. Thank God I did too because once I got up there I realized that the campground I had chosen was NOTHING AT ALL what I expected. It was very craggy and rocky, there was very little room for a tent, there was NO running water, and the outhouses were disgusting! I knew that if my husband showed up later that evening and saw that place, he’d never go camping with me again! So, I drove about five miles away to another campground that was slightly more expensive and was not beside a lake. When we pulled up, the campground host informed me that there were only two campsites left. I hustled on around there and found a lovely site that was just perfect for our family! This site had a picnic table, a grill, and a fully enclosed fire pit, as well as a nice leveled place to put one of our tents. We had a huge 12x17ft tent, then a smaller four person tent (which actually only sleeps two regular size people or three small size people) and there was plenty of room for both tents. This campground also had fully functional bathrooms (not outhouses), running water, AND showers (that cost $3 for 5min, but still!) It was perfect! We had such a relaxing three days up there! The temps were at least 20 degrees cooler than here… er maybe I should say “less hot”, but the nighttime temps dropped down into the mid to upper 50′s. During the day the kids were kept busy by running foot races, playing “Risk”, gathering firewood/pinecones, climbing trees, hiking, and reading. We did catch a little rain, but I was prepared for that too! I hooked up our portable DVD player to the back of the headrests, opened up the back of the van, set chairs around and let the kids watch a movie under the tarp. Here are some pictures from that weekend:

Gathering pine cones (Lilli chose her own attire):

Good morning, baby!:

Playing “Risk”:

Learning that girls are anatomically different than boys:

Watching a movie:

gathering wood:

and finally, our campsite:

I can’t wait until we can go back again! Yes, it was a lot of work, but it was so worth it! What wonderful memories we created that weekend!

The month of July also took me and Evan to Florida. My DIL’s baby shower was last weekend and she begged me to come down and help with the party in lieu of just sending a gift.

Here is our expectant mamma (doesn’t she just glow?!):

It was probably the nicest baby shower I’ve ever been to in my life! They sure do know how to throw a party and not one tiny detail was over looked. I can’t even begin to list everything that they had, but trust me when I say, it was amazing! And the food was out of this world! Arroz con pollo, cubanitos, veggie and fruit platter, cheese platter, pastilitos (mini assorted guava and cheese Cuban pastries), jamon croquettes, and I made a delicious spinach dip and fruit dip (my own creation!).

Marcus and Jessica were so blessed and received absolutely everything they needed for the new baby! I was so touched by the outpouring of love and support those two received for their new bundle of joy!

Here is a picture of the gift table (keep in mind, this is only a small portion of the gifts that were given):

Here is a picture of (l-r) Maritza, Jessica, Evan, and me:

Here is Jessica and her mom with the beautiful (and over priced IMHO) cake:

I am so happy I got the chance to spend some time with our Florida kids. It was so nice to be able to see them and once again, appreciate what wonderful adults they have grown to be. Here is Evan being held by Kaki, and Marcus at the airport the evening we flew home:

and finally, here is Evan in his very own seat on the flight home:

Notice I didn’t talk about how the flight was? There is a reason for that. I do not want to re-live that experience ever! It was harrowing, to say the least! Evan is really a good baby, but it is expecting a lot out of a toddler to think they will want to stay still for hours on end, especially when there are so many wonderful things around him to check out and lick. He was as good as can be expected (considering the circumstances) but it’s still hard traveling with a baby.

So, there ya go! That is the month of July in a nutshell. I know I’ve probably forgotten a ton of details, but you get the general idea. Like I said, it’s been a busy busy summer! I have a ton more to write about, but once again, my attention is being called away, so I must say goodbye for now! Hopefully I’ll find time to write again before another month has passed!

Thoughts to remember

My good friend Katie attended a seminar through her church where she learned a ton of valuable lessons. She posted the notes from those lessons on her blog. When you have a minute, head over there and read all the good reminders that she posted!

Here are my favorites from that post:

• Show me a wife who feels content, and I’ll show you a husband who feels successful.
• Never speak ill–or allow anyone else–of your husband. Be fiercely loyal.
• Speak well of him, value his good thoughts and attributes.
• Pray for him specifically and daily. Pray for things that are important to him–his job, career, spiritual development, and for his wife to become more loving.
• Use introspection: How can I make my marriage better for the sake of the marriage and not just for my benefit?

• I have a point of view; you have a point of view; God has a View.

Finally… when I read this one: Picture yourself in the middle of a desert, with a single winding road and nothing else as far as you can see. What do you want in your backpack? Water, food, and shelter, right? When we carry around resentment, hurt, disappointments, etc. It’s like carrying rocks in that backpack. The more ‘rocks’ (life draining items) we carry, the less room we have for life sustaining items. We ought to examine our backpacks once or twice a year and work to throw the rocks out.

I couldn’t help but wonder if I should toss the rocks and the people I don’t like?
Katie wrote up several posts of wonderful tips,(I only linked one page) so make sure you check in on all of them! And hey, while you’re over there? Leave a comment to let her know you visited! We all like getting comments… *hint* *hint*

Signing Praise!

For the past few weeks Dono has been practicing sign at church with a group of other children. Yesterday we finally go to see what our kids had been learning! Hope you enjoy watching my boy praise God in sign.

Sign language with Donovan

Wanna know what we’ve been up to?

Boy, it seems like this summer is just zipping by! I barely recovered from our vacation before we were off and running again! I just got back last night from my parents house. The kids and I (minus my oldest) went there for a few days to relax, catch up with old friends, and enjoy some cooler weather. Wed night I went to "Taco Night" at the Elks lodge and met up with my good friend Virgie:

She and I met when I worked at the radio station. Unbeknownst to me, they were doing a live remote to promote taco night, so when I walked in Dave (on air personality) walked right over and handed me the mic to do a mini interview! I was not prepared for that, but recovered quickly and it was like old times again!

We didn't do much Thursday besides hang out at my parents house and get ready for Friday. Here are some pictures from around my parents place:

Isaac and Lilli:

The back porch, which is actually like my parents second living room:

This is my granddaddy's old wagon:

I have so many great memories of that ole' wagon! My granddaddy died when I was 16. Every summer when I was a kid, we'd go to his house for part of the summer. He would hitch the horses up and take us kids on a wagon ride all around the neighborhood. By the end of the ride, we'd have that entire wagon completely FULL of all the neighborhood kids who hopped on for a ride! I love that my mom has kept that ole thing.

On Friday we headed up the mountain. It was absolute paradise up there! Here in the valley we're sweltering at a cookin' 115 degrees, but up in the mountains it was a perfectly cool 75. Here are some of my favorite pictures from up there…

Lilli the forest imp:

Quin and Payton:

Isaac, Evan and Matt:

My dad (aka "The Bad Ass")

This is such a pretty campground! The kids had a blast going back and forth across that log:

All in all, it was a nice relaxing trip! We plan to go back before the end of the summer and camp at that campground. Wanna come along?